Affair Recovery Counselling

Working through an affair will test the strongest of relationships, it's tough without a doubt.

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Trust is broken and rebuilding this, learning new ways of communicating especially in conflict, and focusing on how to increase emotional connection and eventually, physical and sexual connection takes time.  Like grief, your emotions will come in waves going between anger and despair, sadness and numbness.

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In order to find out if your relationship should be saved, it's important, to be honest with yourselves and answer some questions to help decide if you should continue the relationship after the affair. 

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1. Are you interested in making amends? Or are you willing to leave your partner?

2. Will you be able to let go of your anger and resentment towards your partner and move forward?

3. Can you imagine being happy with your partner despite what they did? 

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How do you know if your partner would cheat again can be a valid concern.  Some warning signs to look out for are if your partner:

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• Does not view cheating as wrong, immoral, or unethical

• Has a casual, dismissive perspective on the cheating

• Does not take responsibility for what happened

• Has a long history of lies and deception

• Cannot communicate openly and is very secretive

• Refuses or cannot empathize with the pain and distrust caused by cheating

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If both you and your partner are committed to reconciling then seeing a couples therapist trained in affair recovery is helpful.    Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed the Trust Revival Method, with three defined stages of treatment:

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Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment

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86% of couples who attend therapy for affair recovery and are committed to making the relationship work are successful.  To get a rough indication of whether therapy has a chance of success for your relationship, you and your partner can complete the questionnaire provided.  After submitting your answers, you will receive your results via email within 48 business hours.

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To learn more about how I can help you, please book an initial session.