How Can Couples & Marriage Counselling Help?

Supporting you both to understand how you get stuck in negative communication cycles and how to break the pattern.

​

Helping you to slow down your interactions in conflict situations so that you can both learn to understand how you both get triggered, how to make sense of what you are feeling and how to move through these situations in a better way whilst supporting yourself and your partner.

​

Helping you address the underlying issues that cause conflict and disconnection.  Anger is a primary emotion and often used as a form of self-defense and protection.  When you can express your vulnerabilities in safe way, it allows you to connect on a deeper level with your partner.

​

Providing you with a supportive space where you can discuss your concerns in a more productive way while also being gently challenged to ensure you are getting the most out of your sessions.

​

Offering you a gentle way of recognising and taking responsibility for your emotions and responses to one another so that you can develop healthier outcomes through new a means of communicating.

Allowing your feelings to be heard, validated and responded to which in turn builds empathy and trust so that each partner can move towards answering the question 'are you there for me?' with a resounding yes.

​

Providing you with the opportunity to end the marriage amicably, with dignity and respect, if this is the decision that has been reached.  (If married for less than two years you can attain a counselling certificate required for divorce)

How Do I Work?

Marriage Counselling Redlands

As a couples and marriage counsellor I have specialised training in relationship counselling, which is different to individual counselling.  My training is in evidence-based Gottman Couples Therapy, developed as a result of over 40 years of research into couples, determining not just what the contributing factors are towards relationship failure but more importantly the principles behind how to create a long lasting, loving and supportive relationship.

When considering couples or marriage counselling you might ask, "is couples/marriage counselling worth it?".  This question is usually filled with reservations about the cost involved, the time and the effort and at the end of the day wondering if all these factors are going to be worth the outcome.  Well, there really are no guarantees, but, what I can tell you is what we do know, which is that:

​

• Couples who want to stay together, are willing to do the work and are committed to counselling sessions have an 84% chance of success.

• The average couple waits 6 years after problems start before seeking help for marital problems.  The longer you wait the longer therapy can take as problems become more engrained.

• 69% of problems in relationships are perpetual, that is, they are related to differences in personality, values, etc.  Learning how to communicate about these problems is key.

• 12-20 sessions is the average length of treatment, however, this can vary depending on the factors involved such as levels of engagement in therapy, infidelity, trauma, etc.

• The cost of therapy far outweighs the emotional and financial cost of separation.

​

Sessions offered are 60 or 90 minutes.  Couples usually find that one hour is not enough time and 90 minutes is often the preferred choice, however, one hour is suitable for your initial session.  It is usually recommended to start with weekly or fortnightly sessions in the beginning and extend these as you progress.  Private healthcare rebates are available for eligible members and bookings can be requested here.  

​

The commitment to couples therapy is significant

but there is not much that impacts your quality of life more than the feelings of safety and supportiveness

you get from a loving relationship with your partner.